I read, and re-read, last night an article in Psychologies magazine (a mag that is my drug of choice sent to me from the UK). The article is an interview of actress Ellen Barkin, where she speaks openly about her past, and where she is heading. In her past she, like many of us, have been in a relationship where you give yourself completely to the other person; and she, like many of us, seem to not mind a bit – that role you take on is another side of you that you not only give, but you embrace. And she, like many of us, have seemed to be taken advantage of and tend to ‘regret’ that relationship ever entered your life for the draining it has done to your emotions, your time, and your own well-being.
No surprise that I love this article. I fall into the category ‘like many of us’ … and for the longest time I shut myself off to the possibility of being in love again because I was scared of the NEGATIVE impact it would have on my life. BUT … over the past year of my self-renewal and over the past six months since I began Plan B, I have been growing leaps and bounds as a person (and my hope is so have you ….). I view things in a more positive aspect – in the eyes of Chrissy before she had her heart broken. I try to view situations from other angles, summarize in positive light, and capture the moments instead of allowing them to slip by.
Barkin’s interview has a key point that I walked away with: Go on, Be Fearless. Connect on a real level, or not at all. Barkin states at one point, “I will fall in love quickly, say ‘I love you’ first, and not worry if he doesn’t say it back.” She continues to say, “Oh yeah. Another thing – I’m very comfortable by myself … It’s a wonderful power, in a way, because it makes you fearless.”
Not just in love, but in life be fearless. Give into your happiness and allow yourself to feel – capture the moments. We have a tendency to be very negative, very cynical … and yes I am speaking to you … and you. We hold back from a new career, the possibility of change, the opportunity to feel emotions, because we are scared. If we step outside of our comfort zones we would be forced to explore – and exploring frightens us.
Remember when we were eight years old and we would take bike rides that seemed to never end? The afternoon would pass by and we would be busy finding new routes to take, new places to hide, new avenues to venture to. I lived out in the country and despised being indoors; I would spend as much time as I could with the wind in my hair and the earth under my feet. I would travel down to the river where I would sit for hours skipping rocks and playing in the water; on my afternoon excursions I would discover and engage myself in the world around me. As I type, I am remembering the smell of the flowing water … I love that smell. I would lie on my back listening to it flow, while watching the clouds and using my imagination as to what they looked like … using my imagination as to what my future would be like. Why is it now as an adult I neglect to remember something so meaningful to me, something that ignites a passion in me, something that causes me to think about where I have been and where I am yet to venture to?
Somewhere between our infancy and the present day of this flaccid of adulthood, we have misplaced our inner urge to be explorers. I reflect to one of my favorite Pink songs, Glitter in the Air … “Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, I just don’t care.” When is the last time you threw glitter in the air? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight? Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted? Been touched so gently that you had to cry? Invited a stranger to come inside?
Today I ask you, invite that stranger from your childhood to rejoin you on your journey. Go on, Be Fearless. Take it to the mattresses – for life is not waiting for you, it is here, it is now, and you have a decision to make. Change your thinking and improve yourself; take risks, be brave, conquer your fears and relish in your accomplishments … imagine the feelings you had when you would explore … a sense of being, a sense of acting, a sense of doing. Venture outside and listen to the flowing water … peddle like the wind and let go of the handle bars … you will fall, you will skin your knee … but … let go … imagine … explore ... apply …. Go on … Be Fearless …