Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A banana brown sugar sandwich sounds good right now ...

"Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions." —Edgar Cayce (American psychic 1877-1945)

I am told I have a gift, inherited from my great-grandmother of Indian heritage. I have an intuition, and with it when I dream I can wake up knowing if that dream is insight that must be respected.

Here is an example for you skeptics: This week three years ago, on a Monday night, I had a dream. I awoke on Tuesday morning and called my sister:

"I dreamt last night Grammie died and Mom did not tell us."

"She's fine. I talked to Dad and he just spoke with her on Sunday."

"Oh. Good. What a relief."

If only I had listened to my dream, if only I had respected my gift. I had known then for quite some time that my instincts and dreams had a greater meaning; too many times I had ignored my intuition and left feeling helpless. Yet I was ashamed and embarrassed, and terrified.

My Grammie was a woman who I never saw treat or speak ill of anyone. Beginning when I was nine months old, she took care of me. Living down the street from her in a rural area, my parents discovered quickly that when they could not find their two year old daughter at 7am on a Sunday morning, all they had to do was walk a few houses down - there you would see me, sitting at the kitchen table, eating a banana and brown sugar sandwich and saying, "Good morning". She "adopted" us into her family and always insisted she was our Grammie. She taught me that it was okay to want more; she taught me the value of love, and having that in your life; she gave me the strength to believe in myself. Even now when I doubt, she is a faucet of strength that I continue to tap.
That nights dream was the worst of my terror. Grammie past away that Monday night and my sister and I did not know of her passing until the following Saturday; after the funeral, after the burial, after the final goodbyes had been made. Our mother did keep it from us, and the reason we don't speak is what my therapist calls "a whole other issue" ...

I respect now that I have a gift and if my feelings are strong enough to invoke such emotions that make me loose my breath - I act on them now. Granted it still terrifies me that I have such a powerful tool: today's answers to tomorrow ... and yet now I feel a comfort. I feel my great-grandmother who past this on to me must have entrusted at some point I would know what to do with the wisdom ...

To you my readers, I ask:
Is there a time you wish you would have followed your instincts? Do you regret now that you didn't?

And to you Grammie, I miss you every day, and then some. XOXO your Chrissy Boo, forever, and always.

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