The magical power of a band-aid. Once applied, to a child, the hurt and pain instantly defuses and they are left healed and ready for the next adventure … Doesn’t matter the kind of band-aid – name brand vs. dollar store, Scooby Doo vs. Hello Kitty, to a child they hold power; the kind of power that relieves the pain, no matter how severe.
If only life were that easily fixed. The mending of a broken heart, a shattered spirit, a life falling apart, could instantly be healed with the application of a sticky material with a picture of a cartoon character affixed. If this was the case, at this very moment I would be covered from head to toe in a beautiful collage of different arrays of color.
However, that is not the case. I am free of ‘stuck on band-aid brand, because band-aids don’t stick on me’. (I know, I am singing that tune myself, catchy little jingle that it is.) Yet I cannot help but go into the medicine cabinet, pull out a box, and apply one just for the hell of it … with a little “maybe it could work … let’s try” mentality. Nevertheless I am left with the brutal removal and another “ouch” instead.
So you have fallen and skinned your knee ….
For each of us, we pilot lives that at some point or another are going to give us pain no band-aid can fix. Pain that will require healing beyond the realm of a local drugstore pharmacy isle. This pain is compiled of misgivings, misfortunes, mistakes. My suggestion, contrary to traditional belief, is that this composition is not really mis-anything except the possible missed opportunity to heal naturally. On your darkest days the last thing you want to hear is that phrase “everything is going to be okay” … so I won’t mention it here. However, what I am trying to suggest is that pain is a natural phenomenon. It’s what our brain signals to our body that something hurts, something is not right, and something needs to be repaired.
When the boo-boos appear
My belief is that we put too many Band-Aids on that we are blinded to the fact that we are still in need of healing; we want to believe that once sheltered from the elements we can pretend that all is fixed, all is restored. Life does not work that way. There is no repair for your mind, soul, and spirit besides your inner-self ready to make the necessary repairs. This could involve tedious work; a surgical operation that lasts longer than a traditional hospital stay; a procedure you may not want to undertake. However, it is necessary to go through the healing process in order to be repaired, and restored.
And then the hurt sets in ….
Memories, of both the good and the bad, are at times hard to deal with. There is no way of knowing when they will present themselves and cause hurt and pain that in turn produces an inner turmoil. Flashbacks of the past can haunt, and reopen wounds and reveal scars. Harboring the past is just a temporary solution to what will inescapably make its way to the surface.
These moments in our lives find us searching for healing power, but unlike the days of childhood when a band-aid would cure the pain, we must now find more realistic forms to mend. A form such as unlocking the door to the past, cleaning out the closets, and de-cluttering the thoughts of our minds. Even if it’s painful, at first, the results may very well prove worthy. Isn’t that a cure worth the sacrifice of chance? When all of the “healing” is over, that portion of your life can be closed and a new journey begins.
Forget the peroxide, Neosporin, and gauze … no matter what you dig out of your medicine cabinet it cannot compare to what you need in order to truly heal. These necessary supplies are not found in a doctor’s bag, but within yourself.
How do we find what we need? Admitting is the first step; skip the brave face and the holding back of the tears. Let it out! Take up mediation – journaling – hiking – yoga – vent – a good cry – screaming against the wind – letting go – bringing back a piece of yourself, one undertake at a time … In pain there can be no pride found. When you need to mend your mind, soul, spirit, heart or a combination of the above – you cannot pretend that it doesn’t exist. Instead be humble, and no matter how painful, make yourself acutely aware of the ache. Show yourself empathy and if needed, sympathy.
When memories surface that are hard to deal with, dig deeper and find that memory that takes you back to a place of solace. Remember the “firsts”, remember the warmth, remember the feeling of accomplishment, joy, and let the smile overcome the sadness.
Often times we are too hard on ourselves. Think of the key phrases like, “I shouldn’t feel this way”, or “I wish I didn’t”, or the famous, “When is it going to heal already!?” Instead replace those phrases with more powerful statements such as, “It will take time, I will mend. Maybe not today, but each day is one step closer to full recuperation”
Seek within yourself. You don’t give yourself enough credit to go through what you are dealing with. We tend to hide back from the truth of how bad it accurately is in hopes that if ignorant of the pain, it will magically dissipate. Instead, allow yourself to process. Give yourself time. We cannot revive what cannot be saved. But you can revive the kinder spirit within you that gives you strength, bravery, and courage. To face, and to overcome.
Fate is going to take you to the place you exactly belong – let it take you there. Even though it can be painful, although it may leave a scar, trust that what you experience along the way can be healed – not with a band-aid, not with a boo-boo song – but with the winds of change, time, and you.
Time to rid your medicine cabinet to life’s pain with unworkable solutions – and replace with soul food, mind rejuvenation, and dealing with the “ouches” one moment at a time. This is your time to mend … to move forward … and to uncover what hurts, in order to heal.