I feel like I am fading away – each day slipping by, as mundane as the day that preceded it. I feel trapped by the habitual undertakings; a rare trip to the dry cleaners has given me more of an opportunity to go outside my daily routine than any other spontaneous acts (that seem to lack in my life). Most days I register under the radar of the corporate ladder. I feel the support I give as the family provider still falls short of my expectations. And to be noticed by someone who shows interest, to be pursued, has failed to make an appearance in my life. I feel my life slipping out of my hands, and I am scared that my opportunity for my epiphany moment that engulfs me with realization and understanding, has somehow already come and gone. When will I unlock the mystery and discover life? When does the quest for more end and living actually begin?
Wishing for answers
Dear Wishing for Answers,
I know my simplistic response sounds harsh, but it’s the truth! We all should keep wishing. Not saying that you are the author of the letter above, but perhaps you have some of the similar feelings which gives you the common denominator -- at some point we stopped making wishes and believing in the depth of our dreams.
Remember when you used to look up at the stars, catch a glimpse of the first one of the evening, say a little poem, and wish with all of your might for what you are hoping for to come true? You honestly believed it work. Did not matter the wish, night after night you would still hold as much faith and optimism that everything you dreamed of would be a matter of reality. Most nights I wished for a pony – or for a different family – or to be transported away. It never happened, but I still kept hope alive.
I created dreams, and desires, anticipation for the future – and not once did I question their existence or if they would be actual moments in my life. I believed in what was yet to come, and believed that it was supposed to be everything I wished for. Somewhere along the way I stopped wishing on stars. I used to have all of these dreams and now I cannot recite a single new one besides wishing to let go of the past and find my place in the present…
Create new dreams, wishes, and the todays of tomorrow.
As we grow older we loose that creative, imaginative, life-embracing sense that puts more weight on the bliss side of life. Placed on a scale, heartache vs. harmony – one does not outweigh the other; we make a choice as to which one tips the scale. Regrettably we give far too much merit to the disappointments in life. I find it interesting how days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into, well you get the idea – and as the time passes by, we neglect to use it wisely by fulfilling our wishes, chasing our dreams. Instead, we live out these habitual routines lacking spontaneity, inventiveness. It’s like the voices of our youth, who used to have the world by the tail, now are content with just getting by and through another day. And worse yet, that contentment involves living in the past moments of life, and neglecting the new ones of today. What ever happened to wanting more? Striving for more? Seeking more? When did we loose that inner calling to achieve our dreams?
… May this wish I have …
About a month ago we traveled out to a friend’s home, sat on the beach by their lake, and watched the Perseid Meteor Shower. Despite my reference to shooting stars, these streaming gems are not stars at all. They are, instead, little pieces of material ejected from comets. Materials expelled from the comet Swift-Tuttle, which orbits the sun once every 135 years!! Despite the astronomy facts, let’s just call a spade a spade here, they are shooting stars …
As our eyes drifted around the night sky, we were hypnotized by the experience; amazed as the atmosphere was ablaze with streaking lights … shooting stars or not, to us they were hope and belief streaming down the night sky. Burning brightly and intensely, each stream existed for a fleeting moment, and was gone – taking with it a wish I found myself whispering into the night air. That night, these striking awe-inspiring moments created a hope and optimism in me that rekindled a spark …
Birthday candles, eyelash on the cheek, a fluttering star (or pieces of material ejected from comets)… the power of making a wish can change your life if you give it merit. The quest ends and living begins when you are ready to place that merit into your life by chasing your dreams… Granted I have big dreams, big wishes – some are from the past that I cannot seem to part with, others are fluttering around trying to conform – despite not knowing how or if or when these wishes will be granted, I do believe in some form they will. After all … dreams really can come true, if you wish upon a star light star bright, with all of your might, that this wish you make, comes true … just might taken a little longer than happening tonight.