Once a person told me there are three places you spend the most time – your job, your car, and your bed – so make them all incredible, enjoyable, and comfortable. This person however forgot to mention the fourth place – the one you spend all of your time, the key intricate part of every molecule of existence – yourself.
There is no vintage resell shop to customize the accessories needed to shine, so when you are unhappy with yourself, with your life, with your place in the here and now – where do you turn? Some of us look for comfort in the arms of another – be it a stranger or a best friend. Others turn to the materialistic forms such as retail therapy. Some are so bold as to jump on a plane, naïve to think the problems are not part of the carryon luggage. Many turn to their vices – and as much indulgence as they can manage to numb the pain.
Personally I have done all of the above, in many doses, in no particular order. It took me a long time though to admit that although sitting with your best friend is soothing, it provides no answers to whom you are and where you are heading. Sitting on a suite balcony overlooking the ocean is a breathtaking view, but it lacks rejoinder on how to mend. Cosmopolitans are delicious and champagne Thursdays are timeless, but more than the bottle is left empty when the tab arrives to be paid.
All of those remedies, and many others, can a part of the process, but without your inner effort, you will not truly find the answers you are in search for. You must be open to receive – willing to heal – and ready to discover.
Sunday morning at 1:43 and I cannot sleep. Too tired to poor a cocktail, too broke to hop on a plane, too late for retail, and too "not wanting to explain" I don’t call a friend, I just lay here. Minor work is needed – adjustments really – a few strands of pearls and I would never know the difference that something felt out of sort. But tonight, as I type (wearing my pearls …) I find myself in familiar territory … solitary thinking … that is my true must have when I am searching for answers.
We extend ourselves in life in such chaotic fashion that we don’t take much time to give back to our inner spirit. The panic, the anxiety, the high levels of stress at times is too much to deal with, so we go into emotional repression. We don’t like to see our “messes”, and more so, we especially don’t like to allow others to view them. Until we are ready for spring cleaning, in the interim we tend to dust things under a rug, hide things in closets, and throw out our dirty plates instead of washing them. Then one morning we wake up and trip over the “clutter” and we are forced to make a decision – either clean it up or move. Well, in this economic climate, we would never get a dime for our personal real estate so we must grab the mob and broom and put in some elbow work.
In that aspect, we conceive the notion that if we stay emotionally repressed, numb if you will, we are not only repressing the bad, but we are blocking the experience of joy. Eventually, if we want to live in a clean mind, heart, and soul, we must take time to purge through the confusion and untidiness. If we are inclined to move back, too afraid of the time, energy, and application it will take to truly make way for a new life, then in that moment we must forage and push even harder to move forward.
Nothing worth having comes easy, nothing worth having comes without some sort of fight, nothing worth having comes without some time devoted to making it happen … and the same mentality exists in matters of the soul. If it appeals to your thoughts, then think your way through. If it appeals to your heart, then feel your way through. If it appeals to your life, then live your way through. Whatever the demand of appeal, don’t hide the mess any longer.
Deal. Mend. Heal. And in turn … move forward … refreshed, rejuvenated, centered and pristine. Give yourself the permission to take the needed remedy (or remedies) you need to clean out the closet of your mind … as often as needed … as long as it takes … as dirty of a mess it can be … You, and only you, live there … make it a place that is as incredible, enjoyable, and as comfortable as you can create.